Construction Ahead

Anybody else get tired of dodging orange barrels? Please say yes, because I definitely do. On the other hand, it is absolutely necessary, and in many cases, long overdue; like at our local Kroger, for example, with potholes eager to swallow your car.

Construction and orange barrels are part of life. Maintaining that construction, and even expanding it is also part of it. Without it we simply do not see growth or repair around us. Only deterioration.

So it is with our spiritual lives.

I used to think that if I could only achieve a certain level of spirituality I would be home free. Temptation would flee like a “scared deer,” to quote my dad. That was 64 years ago, and I have not achieved it yet.

Instead, I am growing, maturing, learning, still making mistakes, and still having to occasionally ask forgiveness. I am much further down the road than I have ever been, but am now going through some testing like I have never seen before. That testing is revealing a lot about myself, and it is painful. I’ll get to that in a moment.

I saw a quote on Facebook recently that was taken from the devotional The Praying Woman. God has already prepared the way. He’s just preparing you [me]. I added the word “me” in brackets, because the quote is so pertinent to my life right now.

Jesus’s words in Matthew 6:8 say the same thing. “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Just think, before we even ask…amazing.

However, if that is the case, why do we have to ask? We must remember, asking is for us…not God. We need to commune with him. He “already knows…”

My oldest sister, Marian, is in a rehab facility in Northern Kentucky. She lived alone until recently, and took a bad fall in her apartment just a few weeks ago. It caused a minor brain bleed, but it also accelerated an approaching battle with dementia. Since she has no husband and no children, and my other sister, Anita, and brother, Buddy, both live in Florida, I am pretty much directing traffic getting the care Marian needs…myself being 3.5 hours away…one way. Anita is managing Marian's finances, and Buddy stands ready to do his part when the time comes.

I have learned a lot about myself during this time. I don’t like surprises, but have found out life has a lot of them. I am a quiet, introverted person, loving solitude, but have found out you can’t have that all the time. The details have had me fretting, which never helps. My tendency to worry has me putting too much immediately at the front; take care of this NOW. What I have learned is that taking this one step at a time, one issue at a time, while still trying to plan ahead is the only way to manage this. Sounds complicated, right? Oh yeah, it definitely is that and more. The worse part is watching your beloved sister gradually being lost to it all.

I must say, God has taught me a lot about all the details, medical, legal, etc, but mostly he has taught me a lot about myself, my faith, which has been weak at times, and my not so good ability to trust. I must also say, these things have been getting stronger. I have learned that it is not how you feel, it is what you know.

I have shared a lot about this with my daughter, Brit Eaton. I mentioned to her once that, rather than see all those details getting worked out, almost as if by a miracle, I have watched myself get stronger, be calmer, better able to manage things, and the details are slowly falling into place. It is almost like God is working on me first, and taking care of the details as they come. She replied, “Yeah, and that is the most important part, right?” She’s so wise.

I have found scripture a steadying force in my life as well. I am leaning on a line in Isaiah 41:10, “…I will help you.” That promise covers me like a blanket.

This kind of thing can get very expensive also. However, Paul reminded us in Philippians 4:19 that, “My God will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory.” Yeah, I need that one also.

Jesus reminded us in the Sermon on the Mount that our Father in heaven thinks we are much more important than birds and other creatures that depend on his care daily.

The most important lesson I have learned is that I have not “arrived” yet, and after 64 years of being a Christian I still have some growing to do. I am still under construction. But, I am ready to grow some more.

Thanks be to God for what he is showing me.