The Undivided Heart
Reflections on Psalm 86:11-13
It was 4:00 in the morning and I could not sleep. I am an incurable early riser anyway; even on my days off I am up early. But this was ridiculous even for me.
Carol, my sister Marian, and I were on our way to Sarasota, Florida several years ago to see my other sister Anita for a few days. It was going to be a long trip from Mansfield, but we decided to drive anyway. I have a nephew who worked for a large hotel chain and he got us reservations just south of Atlanta for a one night stay, with a discount. Carol and I were in one room and Marian was across the hall from us.
At first I did not know what woke me up. It may have been the strange bed (well, not really strange like with nails or anything like that; but just unknown or something), but I actually thought God was going to show me something. And sure enough he did.
I got up quietly so as to not awaken Carol, made some coffee and felt strangely compelled to get out my big NIV Study Bible and check out some Psalms, my favorite Old Testament book. I don’t recall if I just happened on to Psalm 86 or not, but I saw this passage and began to study it carefully. Then, like a lightning bolt, it hit me; the part in verse 11 about the undivided heart. The context of this, according to my Study Bible footnotes, is David praying for his own divided heart that, on the one hand wants God, and on the other hand wants something else instead. Sound familiar?
I was not sure what that meant at first, then I thought, what is the nature of something that is divided? It cannot stand. Christ himself said in Mark 3:20-25 that a house divided against itself cannot stand. The context of this was when he was accused of casting out demons in the name of Satan. There is one side battling against and seeking the defeat of the other. Paul speaks of this in Romans 7:21-24 where there was constant war in him between the one side that wanted to do Christ’s will and the other that didn’t.
When I see or read something that grabs my attention like this I will stop and re-read it several times, underline it, write notes in the margin, probably like everyone does. The question hit me. Do I have an undivided heart, or is it still divided? I had been a Christian most of my life, but God was trying to show me something new. It seemed I had work to do.
As time passes, I am learning that an undivided heart is not an easy thing to obtain. When I read the devotional masters, Merton, Nouwen, Donne and others, it seemed as if a lifelong struggle toward maturity was taking place. The dual natures were constantly at war. Temptations, uncertainty, disbelief, rebellion, and even life threatening situations themselves hounded them constantly until they finally discovered the joy in knowing God with an undivided heart.
What does an undivided heart look like? How does someone like that act? What are they thinking? How did they get there? Do I know someone like that? I guess the best answer to those questions is, I’m not sure. Maybe that’s it. It’s like love; you can’t define it, but when it comes you know, and it seems everyone else knows also. It is just hard to define.
What causes a divided heart? Those sins that so easily de-rail us? Yes, I think so. They seem to crop up regularly and focus our attention more on ourselves than on Christ. How about those things that we seem to HAVE to have, or those so called important things in our lives that may not be all that important anyway, or that may be getting more attention than they need? Possessions, positions, opinions, financial concerns, professional status, all of these can be the cause of a division in our hearts. They become that to which we give most of our attention. They may not need all the attention they are getting.
Jesus said that our Father in Heaven knows we have need of the basic things of life and that we should not worry about them (worry is one of my own recurring sins). But, we are to “…seek first his kingdom and His righteousness, and all these [other] things will be added to us as well” (Matt 6: 33).
It is not a matter of ignoring all the daily needs of life totally; or ignoring the parts of life that are there and cannot be overlooked. It is saying to God, “Thou and thou only first in my heart” as the hymn Be Thou My Vision says. Note that the line does not say ‘God only in my heart and I ignore everything else’ but God and God only shall be first with nothing competing with that position. It is a matter of submitting everything to his will and direction. It is a matter of not allowing anything to take our focus away from him. As Susannah Wesley said, "Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, takes off your relish for spiritual things, whatever increases the authority of the body over the mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may seem in itself."
Perhaps this prayer should be on our lips constantly: Lord Jesus Christ, be my life out of which everything flows and through which everything is filtered.
Amen
