The Unexpected
I heard some time ago that you’d better watch what you ask for in your prayers, because you just might get it. I don’t know if this is true or not, but I have prayed that my life would reflect Christ. I have also wondered what Christlikeness in a believer like me would look like. I found out that some pruning takes place, and it can be painful. Some things can be unexpected.
My own life has been changed in unexpected ways in recent months with the decline of my sister. She lived in Cincinnati until late June or early July. She had a small but nice apartment, and had been there for a few years.
Marian had been showing signs of dementia early on, disturbing dreams that she could not separate from reality, and what her doctor called “night timers,” or her inability to cope with oncoming darkness. There were other episodes which were equally disturbing.
Carol and I have made several trips to Cincinnati, and were on our way home from one back in early summer. While driving, I received a call from Marian’s best friend at her church. Marian had taken a fall in her apartment and hit her head. She made it to her apartment door and called for help, which came. The apartment manager called 911, and they took her to the University of Cincinnati Medical Center, where she was diagnosed with a brain bleed, which is essentially a stroke, caused by the fall. It also made her dementia worse. It was determined by the UCMC and others that Marian could no longer live alone.
Our brother in law is a Baptist minister in Northern Kentucky and he is on the board of The Seasons of Alexandria, a beautiful, new facility for those who need constant care. Dan was instrumental in getting us a place there.
I live about 3 ½ hours from the Seasons, but my other sister, Anita, and brother, Buddy, live in Florida, both a thousand miles or more. So, being closest, and since Marian has no family of her own, at first I was pretty much put in charge of things. I eventually got Health Care Power of Attorney. My sister, Anita, worked in the financial world, and understood that much better than I do, so she took charge of Marian’s finances. Anita already had her name on Marian’s bank accounts, so it seemed logical that she should take the lead. I found out a bit later that we also needed Durable POA, but according to the Seasons, Marian was incapable of understanding all of that, so they were reluctant to allow that to happen. This meant we needed to go to court and obtain Guardianship for Anita on behalf of Marian. Currently, we have Emergency Guardianship, and will finalize that at a court date later this year. We obtained the legal services of an attorney, who is a cousin of ours, and he has led the way through the courts and other legal stuff for us.
Early in this process I began to see all that was yet to come and began to feel overwhelmed. Medicare would be running out, we would apply for Medicaid, spend down Marian’s money, and a lot of other things were constantly building up in my mind. I began to call on God for guidance, and at one point, looked up and said, “Lord, I CAN’T DO THIS!!” Then a calm voice went through my mind, “I know, but I can.” A bit later he led me to Isaiah 41:10, and the line, “...I will help you,” shone like a beacon. I adopted that as my anchor during this difficult time, and as of now, 5 or so months later, I am still leaning on it. I also saw something in the 23rd Psalm that reminded me, if God is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.
I am surprised at my sense of calm. We still have Medicaid to get approved (everything is in and we have made application, but it is highly detailed and tricky), and not much left in the way of financial resources. The care is really good at the Seasons, but the cost is also substantial. Somehow, I am not worried; somehow God will supply our needs, and we will get Medicaid, of that I have no doubt.
My daughter, Brit Eaton, said to me, “Dad, God may be working on you first.” She is right. He has been working on the situation and me at the same time. My trust and faith has grown during this time, not because of who I am, but of who He is. “I lack nothing,” and “…I will help you,” are what I am leaning on.
With Christ in our lives, we lack nothing. He will help. He might even do the unexpected from time to time.
Thanks be to God.
