The Undivided Heart

Reflections on Psalm 86:11-13

It was 4:00 in the morning and I could not sleep.  I am an incurable early riser anyway; even on my days off I am up early.  But this was ridiculous even for me.  

Carol, my sister Marian, and I were on our way to Sarasota, Florida several years ago to see my other sister Anita for a few days.  It was going to be a long trip from Mansfield, but we decided to drive anyway.  I have a nephew who worked for a large hotel chain and he got us reservations just south of Atlanta for a one night stay, with a  discount.  Carol and I were in one room and Marian was across the hall from us.

At first I did not know what woke me up.  It may have been the strange bed (well, not really strange like with nails or anything like that; but just unknown or something), but I actually thought God was going to show me something.  And sure enough he did.

I got up quietly so as to not awaken Carol, made some coffee and felt strangely compelled to get out my big NIV Study Bible and check out some Psalms, my favorite Old Testament book.  I don’t recall if I just happened on to Psalm 86 or not, but I saw this passage and began to study it carefully.  Then, like a lightning bolt, it hit me; the part in verse 11 about the undivided heart.  The context of this, according to my Study Bible footnotes, is David praying for his own divided heart that, on the one hand wants God, and on the other hand wants something else instead.  Sound familiar?

I was not sure what that meant at first, then I thought, what is the nature of something that is divided?  It cannot stand. Christ himself said in Mark 3:20-25 that a house divided against itself cannot stand.  The context of this was when he was accused of casting out demons in the name of Satan. There is one side battling against and seeking the defeat of the other.  Paul speaks of this in Romans 7:21-24 where there was constant war in him between the one side that wanted to do Christ’s will and the other that didn’t.  

When I see or read something that grabs my attention like this I will stop and re-read it several times, underline it, write notes in the margin, probably like everyone does.  The question hit me.  Do I have an undivided heart, or is it still divided?  I had been a Christian most of my life, but God was trying to show me something new.  It seemed I had work to do.

As time passes, I am learning that an undivided heart is not an easy thing to obtain.  When I read the devotional masters, Merton, Nouwen, Donne and others, it seemed as if a lifelong struggle toward maturity was taking place.  The dual natures were constantly at war.  Temptations, uncertainty, disbelief, rebellion, and even life threatening situations themselves hounded them constantly until they finally discovered the joy in knowing God with an undivided heart.

What does an undivided heart look like?  How does someone like that act?  What are they thinking?  How did they get there?  Do I know someone like that?  I guess the best answer to those questions is, I’m not sure.  Maybe that’s it.  It’s like love; you can’t define it, but when it comes you know, and it seems everyone else knows also.  It is just hard to define.

What causes a divided heart?  Those sins that so easily de-rail us?  Yes, I think so.  They seem to crop up regularly and focus our attention more on ourselves than on Christ.   How about those things that we seem to HAVE to have, or those so called important things in our lives that may not be all that important anyway, or that may be getting more attention than they need?  Possessions, positions, opinions, financial concerns, professional status, all of these can be the cause of a division in our hearts.  They become that to which we give most of our attention.  They may not need all the attention they are getting.

Jesus said that our Father in Heaven knows we have need of the basic things of life and that we should not worry about them (worry is one of my own recurring sins).  But, we are to “…seek first his kingdom and His righteousness, and all these [other] things will be added to us as well” (Matt 6: 33).

It is not a matter of ignoring all the daily needs of life totally; or ignoring the parts of life that are there and cannot be overlooked.  It is saying to God, “Thou and thou only first in my heart” as the hymn Be Thou My Vision says.  Note that the line does not say ‘God only in my heart and I ignore everything else’ but God and God only shall be first with nothing competing with that position.  It is a matter of submitting everything to his will and direction.  It is a matter of not allowing anything to take our focus away from him.  As Susannah Wesley said, "Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, takes off your relish for spiritual things, whatever increases the authority of the body over the mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may seem in itself." 

Perhaps this prayer should be on our lips constantly:  Lord Jesus Christ, be my life out of which everything flows and through which everything is filtered.

Amen

Some Thoughts on Kingdoms

A couple of years ago, our church conducted a study called Kingdom Come.   The study was about six weeks long and led up to Easter.  I was part of a small group hosted by my daughter.

Our pastor, in his first sermon on the Kingdom series, preached on the kingdom of this world vs. the Kingdom of Christ.  Our world teaches, “get,” “get ahead,” “push,” “work harder to make more,” “look out for #1,” “negotiate for more”.  The Kingdom of God teaches, “receive,” “love,” “give,” “sacrifice,” “take care of others,” “put God first”.  The Kingdom of God also compels the world to “repent” and “believe”.  

As to Kingdoms, there is one basic problem.  We Americans don’t have a king.  We have a president and a congress, both elected offices.  We have the courts and other bodies, all of which are supposed to keep each other in check.  A king (or queen) is an absolute monarch who has the authority to call all the shots.  The UK at least has a parliament and a prime minister, but his Majesty, the King, is ever present.

What is the Kingdom of God?  How is the Kingdom of God carried out in our lives?  

I read a book a couple of years ago called The Gospel of the Kingdom, by George Eldon Ladd.  Ladd makes several excellent points in clarifying this topic, but I will mention only a couple.  

One, the Kingdom of God is the Lordship of Christ in our lives.  This is what Christ meant when he said, “The Kingdom of God is within you” - Luke 17:21.  This process began at conversion and will continue as time goes on, provided we nourish that relationship with Christ.  

Two, the Kingdom of God is both present and future.  In other words, it’s here right now.  Also, the kingdom of God will be established on earth when Christ returns to take up his rule in the universe after he has made all things new.  The connection between the two is, we have eternal life…now.  It is growing within us.

I have also begun to realize that the kingdom can look pretty unspectacular.  No parades; no celebrities trying to gain attention; no lightning bolts from heaven; no mighty warriors riding in to eliminate the enemy.  It makes its presence known by acts of kindness where nothing is expected in return.  It forgives someone for a wrong doing and then lets it go.  It may even be hidden.  It manifests itself as Christians seeking to display Christlikeness in the world.  

It also gets us ready for Christ’s return and the future kingdom.

Let the Kingdom of God come alive in your life.  Accept Christ today and surrender to his Lordship.  His is the perfect kingdom.  He is the perfect King.  His Kingdom is the only one that will last through eternity.

Thanks be to God.

God's Faithfulness

God’s Faithfulness

Do you have a favorite Bible verse, a “go to” verse in difficult times? These can be of great comfort, reminding us of God’s faithfulness in our lives, which, considering how life can be sometimes, is easily forgotten.

My beloved sister went to heaven on January 14, 2020. She was unmarried at the time and had no children. She got to the place where she could not live alone any longer, so with some effort, a relative of ours got her into a lovely place in Northern Kentucky, called the Seasons. She received good care, and I have never regretted taking her there.

Marian did not have many possessions. What few pieces of furniture she owned were given to her church, the Montana Avenue Church of the Nazarene in Cincinnati. The rest, clothing, etc was donated to charities.

Realizing that I was her closest relative, living 3 hours away, I was going to be responsible for settling her small estate, which mainly consisted of her finances, insurance and any other detail. I actually began to panic, and at one point prayed, “Lord, I can’t do this! Please find someone else!” I seemed to get a gentle response back, “I know, I know, but I can help.”

Not long after that, I realized that my other sister, Anita, who lives in Sarasota, Florida, was made executor of Marian’s will and her name was on all of Marian’s financial accounts. When Anita got involved, then the pieces began to fall into place. She made three trips up to the Cincinnati area, with scheduled meetings and court appearances with a cousin of ours, an attorney, who walked us through the legal mazes with grace, dignity and competence. My responsibilities were primarily medical, discussing issues of medication and other things of this nature with the medical staff at the Seasons.

From that point on, it seemed to be one step leading to another, until late in 2019 Medicaid entered the picture, and the path was cleared for all bills to be paid. On January 14, 2020, our beloved sister entered God’s presence. Later that year, we settled the last of the financial responsibilities and we could get on with our precious memories of Marian.

These memories were expressed with great love and affection at Marian’s church, sometime after her passing, as friends and family expressed their gratitude to God for her impact on their lives. My daughter Brit gave a eulogy that was moving, tender, funny, and summarized Marian’s life and going to heaven, and still moves me to tears even now when I re-read it. Janea gave a warm, tender, tear filled testimony about her beloved “Aunt Marian.” The service was filled with gratitude to God for this special saint.

This verse has become what I call my everyday verse. I have another verse, Philippians 4:8 that is a life philosophy verse, guiding me on my journey. Isaiah 41:10, however, is my “go to” verse.

Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, 

I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous, right hand.

(English Standard Version, 2016)

Each line carries a specific message of its own, but the line, “I will help you,” has anchored itself in my mind, and shines like a beacon, ever declaring the truth that God is very much involved in our lives; sometimes not the way we ask for, but his way is always best and he is always faithful.

Oh that our faith and trust were as strong as we would like for them to be. I am reminded so many times of God’s faithfulness, both in major events — like this one with my sister — and small issues that come up in everyday life.

May our continuous, ongoing efforts be focused on God’s strengthening us in faith, hope and trust. May the practice of faith and trust be a moment by moment, day by day priority.

Thanks be to God.

On Healing

I am trying to “unpack” my thoughts on healing. Mind you, I have no brilliant or inspired ideas to share, just some reflections. I have seen very few “miraculous” or sudden healings. My mom is said to have been healed of an inward goiter and went home and threw away her medicine, never to be bothered with it again. I also heard the story of dad on his deathbed with pneumonia, the doctor said to call their pastor to come and pray with him. Suddenly, dad sat up, asked for food, and lived to be 96 years old. I was in the hospital with measles and pneumonia as a 2 year old. I guess I am grateful to be here today. I was present when my mother in law was being healed of a mysterious fever at their church. Her doctor had no idea what it was or what to do, and said, “If I were a younger man, I would stay up all night researching this.” She was being anointed, and suddenly stiffened and gently laid down on the floor. She went home, went to bed and was never bothered with it again. I also recall when one of my grandchildren was small, she burned her hand on a flame heater at Panera bread. Her doctor put medication on it, wrapped it, and said to get back with him in a week to see how it was doing. My daughter and her husband prayed urgently, and the next day, while changing the wrap, noticed there was no sign that it had ever been burned; no redness, no blistering — nothing.

What is my interest in all of this? Some time back I had deliberately lost a significant amount of weight, around 55 pounds.  Before that, a sinus infection was a fairly common, and extremely miserable thing. Accompanying these was usually a severe cough. I lived on cough drops, cough syrup, anything that would help. Once a few years ago, my cough got so bad, I actually fractured some ribs. I would beg, beg, and plead with God to relieve me of this. I got over them eventually, usually with the help of antibiotics, but it always took a while. I got to wondering, why does not God just touch me and relieve me? I totally get that sinus infections and severe coughs are not nearly as serious as some things listed above — I totally get that. I am of the opinion that God cares about our lives and wants to help. However, he must have something else in mind. Maybe I was asking for something that was already taking place.

Why do healings happen, and sometime, not at all, or not quickly anyway? Paul himself prayed to have his “thorn in the flesh” removed. It was never removed. He was told that, “My grace is sufficient for you.” Why did a family member suffer for two years before dying at 46 of brain cancer? A long time friend from my college days died of a heart attack at 46. Why was a beloved great niece of mine so cruelly killed on the interstate highway in Florida in February of ’21 at age 19? Philip Yancey says that these are WHY questions that will not go away. He also said there is no clear answer.

Many times I am reminded of what Jesus Himself said, “In this world you will have trouble.” He could have stopped there, but he continued, “Fear not, for I have overcome the world.”

God’s sovereignty, a reason we can’t comprehend yet, His will, all of these come to mind, but offer no comfort. Faith may be part of it, but an illustration on Facebook recently said an umbrella cannot stop the rain but it allows us to stand in the rain. Faith in God may not remove our trials but it gives us strength to overcome them. One place in the gospels states that Jesus could do no miracles because of their lack of faith. What should we have faith in?

Also on Facebook was the prayer of the old farmer, who did not like buttermilk, or flour, or lard, but he loved what happened when you mix them together — nice warm biscuits. When hard times come, or stuff we don’t like, hang in there, God is mixing something that will far outweigh what we are going through now.

God is invested in our development more than our comfort. He trusts us to handle it (Kyle Peters, Every Bush Afire). Is this part of the reason? Is this where I am now?

God wants to be our deliverer, but more so, he wants to empower us. (Peters)

The bottom line seems to be to trust and give him thanks anyway — no matter. That’s hard, but probably necessary.