The Undivided Heart

Reflections on Psalm 86:11-13

It was 4:00 in the morning and I could not sleep.  I am an incurable early riser anyway; even on my days off I am up early.  But this was ridiculous even for me.  

Carol, my sister Marian, and I were on our way to Sarasota, Florida several years ago to see my other sister Anita for a few days.  It was going to be a long trip from Mansfield, but we decided to drive anyway.  I have a nephew who worked for a large hotel chain and he got us reservations just south of Atlanta for a one night stay, with a  discount.  Carol and I were in one room and Marian was across the hall from us.

At first I did not know what woke me up.  It may have been the strange bed (well, not really strange like with nails or anything like that; but just unknown or something), but I actually thought God was going to show me something.  And sure enough he did.

I got up quietly so as to not awaken Carol, made some coffee and felt strangely compelled to get out my big NIV Study Bible and check out some Psalms, my favorite Old Testament book.  I don’t recall if I just happened on to Psalm 86 or not, but I saw this passage and began to study it carefully.  Then, like a lightning bolt, it hit me; the part in verse 11 about the undivided heart.  The context of this, according to my Study Bible footnotes, is David praying for his own divided heart that, on the one hand wants God, and on the other hand wants something else instead.  Sound familiar?

I was not sure what that meant at first, then I thought, what is the nature of something that is divided?  It cannot stand. Christ himself said in Mark 3:20-25 that a house divided against itself cannot stand.  The context of this was when he was accused of casting out demons in the name of Satan. There is one side battling against and seeking the defeat of the other.  Paul speaks of this in Romans 7:21-24 where there was constant war in him between the one side that wanted to do Christ’s will and the other that didn’t.  

When I see or read something that grabs my attention like this I will stop and re-read it several times, underline it, write notes in the margin, probably like everyone does.  The question hit me.  Do I have an undivided heart, or is it still divided?  I had been a Christian most of my life, but God was trying to show me something new.  It seemed I had work to do.

As time passes, I am learning that an undivided heart is not an easy thing to obtain.  When I read the devotional masters, Merton, Nouwen, Donne and others, it seemed as if a lifelong struggle toward maturity was taking place.  The dual natures were constantly at war.  Temptations, uncertainty, disbelief, rebellion, and even life threatening situations themselves hounded them constantly until they finally discovered the joy in knowing God with an undivided heart.

What does an undivided heart look like?  How does someone like that act?  What are they thinking?  How did they get there?  Do I know someone like that?  I guess the best answer to those questions is, I’m not sure.  Maybe that’s it.  It’s like love; you can’t define it, but when it comes you know, and it seems everyone else knows also.  It is just hard to define.

What causes a divided heart?  Those sins that so easily de-rail us?  Yes, I think so.  They seem to crop up regularly and focus our attention more on ourselves than on Christ.   How about those things that we seem to HAVE to have, or those so called important things in our lives that may not be all that important anyway, or that may be getting more attention than they need?  Possessions, positions, opinions, financial concerns, professional status, all of these can be the cause of a division in our hearts.  They become that to which we give most of our attention.  They may not need all the attention they are getting.

Jesus said that our Father in Heaven knows we have need of the basic things of life and that we should not worry about them (worry is one of my own recurring sins).  But, we are to “…seek first his kingdom and His righteousness, and all these [other] things will be added to us as well” (Matt 6: 33).

It is not a matter of ignoring all the daily needs of life totally; or ignoring the parts of life that are there and cannot be overlooked.  It is saying to God, “Thou and thou only first in my heart” as the hymn Be Thou My Vision says.  Note that the line does not say ‘God only in my heart and I ignore everything else’ but God and God only shall be first with nothing competing with that position.  It is a matter of submitting everything to his will and direction.  It is a matter of not allowing anything to take our focus away from him.  As Susannah Wesley said, "Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, takes off your relish for spiritual things, whatever increases the authority of the body over the mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may seem in itself." 

Perhaps this prayer should be on our lips constantly:  Lord Jesus Christ, be my life out of which everything flows and through which everything is filtered.

Amen

Some Thoughts on Kingdoms

A couple of years ago, our church conducted a study called Kingdom Come.   The study was about six weeks long and led up to Easter.  I was part of a small group hosted by my daughter.

Our pastor, in his first sermon on the Kingdom series, preached on the kingdom of this world vs. the Kingdom of Christ.  Our world teaches, “get,” “get ahead,” “push,” “work harder to make more,” “look out for #1,” “negotiate for more”.  The Kingdom of God teaches, “receive,” “love,” “give,” “sacrifice,” “take care of others,” “put God first”.  The Kingdom of God also compels the world to “repent” and “believe”.  

As to Kingdoms, there is one basic problem.  We Americans don’t have a king.  We have a president and a congress, both elected offices.  We have the courts and other bodies, all of which are supposed to keep each other in check.  A king (or queen) is an absolute monarch who has the authority to call all the shots.  The UK at least has a parliament and a prime minister, but his Majesty, the King, is ever present.

What is the Kingdom of God?  How is the Kingdom of God carried out in our lives?  

I read a book a couple of years ago called The Gospel of the Kingdom, by George Eldon Ladd.  Ladd makes several excellent points in clarifying this topic, but I will mention only a couple.  

One, the Kingdom of God is the Lordship of Christ in our lives.  This is what Christ meant when he said, “The Kingdom of God is within you” - Luke 17:21.  This process began at conversion and will continue as time goes on, provided we nourish that relationship with Christ.  

Two, the Kingdom of God is both present and future.  In other words, it’s here right now.  Also, the kingdom of God will be established on earth when Christ returns to take up his rule in the universe after he has made all things new.  The connection between the two is, we have eternal life…now.  It is growing within us.

I have also begun to realize that the kingdom can look pretty unspectacular.  No parades; no celebrities trying to gain attention; no lightning bolts from heaven; no mighty warriors riding in to eliminate the enemy.  It makes its presence known by acts of kindness where nothing is expected in return.  It forgives someone for a wrong doing and then lets it go.  It may even be hidden.  It manifests itself as Christians seeking to display Christlikeness in the world.  

It also gets us ready for Christ’s return and the future kingdom.

Let the Kingdom of God come alive in your life.  Accept Christ today and surrender to his Lordship.  His is the perfect kingdom.  He is the perfect King.  His Kingdom is the only one that will last through eternity.

Thanks be to God.

God's Faithfulness

God’s Faithfulness

Do you have a favorite Bible verse, a “go to” verse in difficult times? These can be of great comfort, reminding us of God’s faithfulness in our lives, which, considering how life can be sometimes, is easily forgotten.

My beloved sister went to heaven on January 14, 2020. She was unmarried at the time and had no children. She got to the place where she could not live alone any longer, so with some effort, a relative of ours got her into a lovely place in Northern Kentucky, called the Seasons. She received good care, and I have never regretted taking her there.

Marian did not have many possessions. What few pieces of furniture she owned were given to her church, the Montana Avenue Church of the Nazarene in Cincinnati. The rest, clothing, etc was donated to charities.

Realizing that I was her closest relative, living 3 hours away, I was going to be responsible for settling her small estate, which mainly consisted of her finances, insurance and any other detail. I actually began to panic, and at one point prayed, “Lord, I can’t do this! Please find someone else!” I seemed to get a gentle response back, “I know, I know, but I can help.”

Not long after that, I realized that my other sister, Anita, who lives in Sarasota, Florida, was made executor of Marian’s will and her name was on all of Marian’s financial accounts. When Anita got involved, then the pieces began to fall into place. She made three trips up to the Cincinnati area, with scheduled meetings and court appearances with a cousin of ours, an attorney, who walked us through the legal mazes with grace, dignity and competence. My responsibilities were primarily medical, discussing issues of medication and other things of this nature with the medical staff at the Seasons.

From that point on, it seemed to be one step leading to another, until late in 2019 Medicaid entered the picture, and the path was cleared for all bills to be paid. On January 14, 2020, our beloved sister entered God’s presence. Later that year, we settled the last of the financial responsibilities and we could get on with our precious memories of Marian.

These memories were expressed with great love and affection at Marian’s church, sometime after her passing, as friends and family expressed their gratitude to God for her impact on their lives. My daughter Brit gave a eulogy that was moving, tender, funny, and summarized Marian’s life and going to heaven, and still moves me to tears even now when I re-read it. Janea gave a warm, tender, tear filled testimony about her beloved “Aunt Marian.” The service was filled with gratitude to God for this special saint.

This verse has become what I call my everyday verse. I have another verse, Philippians 4:8 that is a life philosophy verse, guiding me on my journey. Isaiah 41:10, however, is my “go to” verse.

Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, 

I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous, right hand.

(English Standard Version, 2016)

Each line carries a specific message of its own, but the line, “I will help you,” has anchored itself in my mind, and shines like a beacon, ever declaring the truth that God is very much involved in our lives; sometimes not the way we ask for, but his way is always best and he is always faithful.

Oh that our faith and trust were as strong as we would like for them to be. I am reminded so many times of God’s faithfulness, both in major events — like this one with my sister — and small issues that come up in everyday life.

May our continuous, ongoing efforts be focused on God’s strengthening us in faith, hope and trust. May the practice of faith and trust be a moment by moment, day by day priority.

Thanks be to God.

On Healing

I am trying to “unpack” my thoughts on healing. Mind you, I have no brilliant or inspired ideas to share, just some reflections. I have seen very few “miraculous” or sudden healings. My mom is said to have been healed of an inward goiter and went home and threw away her medicine, never to be bothered with it again. I also heard the story of dad on his deathbed with pneumonia, the doctor said to call their pastor to come and pray with him. Suddenly, dad sat up, asked for food, and lived to be 96 years old. I was in the hospital with measles and pneumonia as a 2 year old. I guess I am grateful to be here today. I was present when my mother in law was being healed of a mysterious fever at their church. Her doctor had no idea what it was or what to do, and said, “If I were a younger man, I would stay up all night researching this.” She was being anointed, and suddenly stiffened and gently laid down on the floor. She went home, went to bed and was never bothered with it again. I also recall when one of my grandchildren was small, she burned her hand on a flame heater at Panera bread. Her doctor put medication on it, wrapped it, and said to get back with him in a week to see how it was doing. My daughter and her husband prayed urgently, and the next day, while changing the wrap, noticed there was no sign that it had ever been burned; no redness, no blistering — nothing.

What is my interest in all of this? Some time back I had deliberately lost a significant amount of weight, around 55 pounds.  Before that, a sinus infection was a fairly common, and extremely miserable thing. Accompanying these was usually a severe cough. I lived on cough drops, cough syrup, anything that would help. Once a few years ago, my cough got so bad, I actually fractured some ribs. I would beg, beg, and plead with God to relieve me of this. I got over them eventually, usually with the help of antibiotics, but it always took a while. I got to wondering, why does not God just touch me and relieve me? I totally get that sinus infections and severe coughs are not nearly as serious as some things listed above — I totally get that. I am of the opinion that God cares about our lives and wants to help. However, he must have something else in mind. Maybe I was asking for something that was already taking place.

Why do healings happen, and sometime, not at all, or not quickly anyway? Paul himself prayed to have his “thorn in the flesh” removed. It was never removed. He was told that, “My grace is sufficient for you.” Why did a family member suffer for two years before dying at 46 of brain cancer? A long time friend from my college days died of a heart attack at 46. Why was a beloved great niece of mine so cruelly killed on the interstate highway in Florida in February of ’21 at age 19? Philip Yancey says that these are WHY questions that will not go away. He also said there is no clear answer.

Many times I am reminded of what Jesus Himself said, “In this world you will have trouble.” He could have stopped there, but he continued, “Fear not, for I have overcome the world.”

God’s sovereignty, a reason we can’t comprehend yet, His will, all of these come to mind, but offer no comfort. Faith may be part of it, but an illustration on Facebook recently said an umbrella cannot stop the rain but it allows us to stand in the rain. Faith in God may not remove our trials but it gives us strength to overcome them. One place in the gospels states that Jesus could do no miracles because of their lack of faith. What should we have faith in?

Also on Facebook was the prayer of the old farmer, who did not like buttermilk, or flour, or lard, but he loved what happened when you mix them together — nice warm biscuits. When hard times come, or stuff we don’t like, hang in there, God is mixing something that will far outweigh what we are going through now.

God is invested in our development more than our comfort. He trusts us to handle it (Kyle Peters, Every Bush Afire). Is this part of the reason? Is this where I am now?

God wants to be our deliverer, but more so, he wants to empower us. (Peters)

The bottom line seems to be to trust and give him thanks anyway — no matter. That’s hard, but probably necessary.

Entrances

The title of the ancient hymn, Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence, in a way does not seem realistic, especially around this time of year.  How are we to keep silent in this the busiest time of year?  We have presents to buy; decorations to hang; parties to go to; endless preparations for Christmas.  And what about “Joy to the World”, or “O Come All Ye Faithful”?  These aren’t exactly silent expressions.

Yet that is exactly what that opening line of this hymn from the liturgy of St. James of the 4th century demands…silence.  Of course “Joy to the World” and all those other beloved hymns and carols have a place and express the joy that we feel when celebrating once again the birth of Christ.  The other stuff of Christmas also has its place even though they seem more like trappings at times.  What does all this mean?  Where is it going?  

It may be related to imagination.  One part of this hymn in particular takes my imagination to another place; another time; another realm.

First off, the hymn can be used as a communion hymn any time of the year.  The last line in the second stanza says, “He will give to all the faithful, his own self for heavenly food,” and points to a Eucharistic celebration.  There are elements of both Advent and Eucharist contained in the lines.  However it is most commonly used during the Advent season and speaks to the miraculous Incarnation.   The thought that comes to mind is contained at the beginning of stanza three.  It reads:

“Rank on rank the host of heaven spreads its vanguard on the way, 

As the Light of Light descendeth from the realms of endless day;

That the powers of hell may vanish as the darkness clears away.”

I checked on the word ‘vanguard’ the other day and it implies an entourage that accompanies a king on his way to or from a battle or other major event.  I can envision Heaven as the great plan of salvation begins to unfold.  The unnumbered hosts of Heaven have known about it for eons, and the time has finally come.  The ‘commanders’ (if there are such things among the angels and other ‘hosts’ of Heaven) gives the order and everyone forms two lines, each facing the other, beginning at the main gate; banners of some kind raised; trumpets blare some sort of fanfare.  Christ, the Light of Lights descends, getting smaller the closer he gets, and in doing so brings light to a dark world.  He intends to vanquish the darkness once and for all.  It is a kind of journey ‘downward’ to earth as he takes his place among us in the form of an infant.  

I can’t imagine the transition.  Leaving eternity, this boundless God, who is his own eternity, becomes one of the most helpless of all creation – a human newborn; what an amazing thought.  

At the same time the demons of Hell are getting more and more nervous.  They are terrified of this Light that is descending.  They can’t bear to look at him.  But, when they realize what is going on – that he is coming as an infant – they begin to sneer with glee thinking, ‘this shouldn’t be too hard, to defeat a baby.  We’ll just alert old Herod and he can carry out our plan’.  All along they do not realize what is really going on.  Their power begins to weaken at the very presence of this one who is the light of all eternity.  Becoming an infant will not change that.

Trips of imagination are part of the Christmas season, I guess, and this scene has always taken me to other places; fired my imagination.  

Our response?  Silence.  Just stop for a while and ponder what’s behind it all.  Stop the ‘hubbub’; stop the frenzy.  Recall what it’s really about; how God in Christ came to us from his eternal realm, where he was the Light, to become one of us; an infant; one who depended on his mother for everything, and did what all infants do.

Recall how this infant grew up to become a kid, a teenager, then a grown man who ministered to the lowest of the low; who forgave; and ultimately provided the final sacrifice for our sins. Remember how he can dwell in us now and fill us with love so great he welcomes everyone into his kingdom.  

Most of all let’s occasionally just…be…silent…and let this miracle soak in.  Imagine him descending from the halls of Heaven, entering his mother’s womb and finally being born in a barn.  Find time to just be silent and listen…somewhere…sometime…it will give you a new perspective on the season.

He is born; the Messiah has come.

Thanks be to God.

Epiphany

This is not about the beloved season in the church year following Christmas where we celebrate “God with us,” in the person of Jesus. This is about, once again, seeing something in scripture that I have seen or heard about hundreds of times in my life. This morning, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I do not want it to ever go away.

My morning devotion time consists of using a Bible app on my phone to hear some scripture read. Recently I was led — I guess — to begin a plan whereby I read an Old Testament passage, a Psalm, a Gospel passage, and a section of an epistle. This takes abut 10 minutes and the app reads the passage. As of now, I am in Joshua 8, Psalm…about 78, Matthew 12, and Romans 8. Joshua chapter 7 showed me something that was an epiphany and eye opening like I have experienced only on occasion before. Something has lodged itself in my mind and has brought me to a place of silence. It is about a love so profound that we cannot begin to comprehend it.

In the Old Testament, if you sinned a certain way, you could be put to death. Prostitution, adultery and other things could be death if you were caught. Joshua chapter 7 talks about Achan, who stole some things that belonged to God. Israel was going to go up against Ai to hopefully conquer it.

Israel got creamed. They had a lot of success since entering the promised land, but not this time.

Joshua was distraught and fell on his face before God. God told him to “get up” and search for the reason of this dismal failure. Joshua called all the tribes to himself and questioned them. Finally he found out what had happened. A guy named Achan had stolen some things — including silver — from what had been consecrated to God. Joshua sent some guys to check it out, and sure enough they found the stash in Achan’s tent, where he had hidden it away.

Big mistake.

Here is what grabbed me this morning. Even though Achan confessed, he was still put to death, along with some family members, and burned. 

The point: After the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ we need to remember that when we sin, no matter what it is, Jesus was put to death for our sin in our place…  Achan died for his own sin. Jesus died in our place for our sin. What an incredible thought! He voluntarily took our place. 

Sometimes something hits you that you’ve known all along, but at a particular moment grabs you and will not let go… and you don’t want it to. Our sins are atoned for because Christ died on the cross in our place. 

Isaiah 53:5 says it loud and clear. 

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. (NIV)

I want to live every moment “under his care,” realizing his willingness to take our place as the means back to God.

Thanks be to God.

Back Yard Cathedral

I am a morning person. No question about that. Come 6:00 and I am ready to get on with my day. Being a morning person — and Carol is definitely not — gives me time to have a favorite breakfast, check a little bit of tv while eating, then spend some time in devotions. This time with God is precious and an important part of my days. Things become clearer, my mind relaxes, and my heart tunes with God.

Recently I decided to once again go outside for my devotional time. Weather does not always allow that but it definitely did this morning. Carol and I got our new patio and pergola put in last summer, and we have had a grand time with it. It is indeed a lovely place.

That particular morning was pretty special. It was about 7:00 and the temperature was about 70 degrees. The sun was just coming up, streaming through the branches of trees, and a gentle breeze moved through from the West. The tree branches, the landscaping, grass, and surrounding bushes and weeds all responded.

I have a very large walnut tree in my backyard. I don’t know trees that well, but I know this one is walnut because every fall I need to pick up what seems to be thousands of walnuts and move them off my grass. Fortunately I have a large natural barrier between my property and the duplexes next door that runs right by the walnut tree. It gives us some good privacy, and me a place to put all those walnuts. There are several other large trees about the same size close by and they form a kind of ceiling. The rising curvature of the trunks and the ridiculously rich green create that ceiling resembling the sanctuary in a gothic cathedral. This particular morning while I was listening to scripture being read on an app on my phone it dawned on me that this was a place I was supposed to be. The trees ascended and formed a partial green covering, then suddenly opened to revealed a perfect blue sky with only a few wisps of cloud moving along.

My devotional time continued with daily readings from Keller and Yancey, followed by a time of prayer. The whole time was rich with God’s gentle presence calming me and moving me to silence. Silence is not easy in our world anymore. Distractions seem constant. Sometimes it takes moments like this to get us to be quiet, while we listen and God talks. This brings to mind a time when someone asked Mother Teresa how she prayed. “God talks and I listen, then I talk and He listens,” was her direct, to the point answer.

My little backyard cathedral reminded of a couple of places in Scripture that speak to the beauty and majesty of creation. The very first few verses in Genesis say that God was pleased with it all saying, “That’s good.” Psalm 8 starts out by declaring the majesty of God's work and how his glory is reflected in all of creation. Psalm 24 declares that all of the earth belongs to God and reflects his glory.

Oh yeah, let me tell you about a little squirrel. He comes each morning to my patio and stays for a few moments. He showed up this morning also. If he has found a storage place on my patio for walnuts I have not discovered it yet. This morning, he went about half way down the main trunk of the large walnut tree and stopped and glared at me for a bit. It was like he was saying, “Uh…excuse me, but are you finished yet?” In my crazy frame of mind, I spoke to him saying, “Ok, kid, don’t get all impatient with me. You’ll get yours soon enough.” Ultimately he left and went to another part of the tree. I thought, God takes care of his creatures, and the squirrel lives in a walnut tree…I mean…it can’t be better than that, right? Don’t worry, I don’t talk to squirrels on a regular basis.

I know not all mornings are like this. Some are cooler, overcast and not as lovely. God, however, is the same, and is continually calling us to be silent before him.

I love Psalm 46, verses 1 and 10. “God is our Refuge and Strength, a very present help in trouble.” Verse 10 speaks to the silence that I experienced this morning, “Be still and know that I am God.” This morning I seemed to experience something that was bigger and more profound than I. It silenced me and I have a feeling it changed me also.

Thanks be to God.