Growing Up in the New Life
I just finished reading John slowly and carefully. I made it a point to underline any verse that seemed to support Christ as the God-Man, or God with us. I was especially taken by the frequent use of the phrase by Jesus, “Him who sent me.” I underlined all of these. I enjoyed taking in the first chapter, especially verses 1, 14 and 18. I also referred to several different translations.
In the meantime I have started Galatians and will try to read it slowly also, gleaning treasures from what has been called, the Magna Carta of Christian liberty. I will get to the rest of Paul’s letters soon. I read chapter two and here is what I saw…that I have actually seen many times, but never “underlined” it in my mind or heart.
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)
This verse seems to have implanted itself in my mind. My old self has died; my new self in Christ is now alive.
Ok, here is my question. How do I reconcile the idea of an “old self” with the fact that I was a child (age 9) when I invited Christ into my life, and may not have had much of an “old self” before that? I was a pretty normal kid. I did pretty well in school, had friends, played ball, grew up with my siblings, went to church, never did anything dark or particularly sinful.
Then I remembered that Christ has put to death many things in my life since then, and growth in the new life is continuing. I have made most of my progress via pivotal moments that have come my way. Was there an initial moment? Absolutely, and progress has come after that…lots of it.
It all started with the time I invited Christ into my life. I was 9, like I said, and strongly influenced by godly parents who took me to church at a young age. I knew I was different after that, but I could not tell you why. I had seen in mom a faith so tender she could hardly talk about it without crying. I also saw in dad an almost unshakable faith that, “God will work this out; I KNOW he will.” Dad was right. I wanted that.
A defining moment was when I was with my mom at her deathbed. This was a major turning point. I can very easily divide my life into “before and after,” it was that significant. Dad, my sister Marian, and I drove out to Lakeside Nursing Home in Alexandria Kentucky, early that morning. I watched mom take her last breath and leave this world. Strangely, it seemed easy. I thought, you mean your body shuts down completely, you stop breathing, and that’s it? Then, I remembered mom’s godly, tender life and thought, God’s people die well.
I have since lost my dad (May 1997) and my brother Tom (May 2018) and have once again seen God’s hand at work in my own life, turning potential crisis moments into victory.
Lots of other things have taken place, some failures, some successes, some joys, some sorrows. God has used these as times of growth for me. Someone said that we grow more during crisis than at any other time. I think this is because during those times, we focus so much on ourselves and how we relate to God more than when things are going well. There is also a sustaining grace that holds us, even though we might not realize it at the time.
Crisis times are tricky, however, as many people turn their backs on God, wondering why he did not act when he was needed most. There are no clear answers to these questions, at least not yet.
Faith can take over, however. Frederick Buechner put it this way. “Faith is standing in the darkness, and a hand is there, and we take it.” (Frederick Buechner, “The Two Battles,” in The Magnificent Defeat)
There are a whole lot more things to be said about this, but the main thing is to keep listening and growing; trust anyway.
Thanks be to God.
