Some Thoughts on Forgiveness

I've thought a lot about forgiveness lately in light of our broken relationship with some neighbors a couple of years back. That relationship remains broken, by the way. At one time we had a pretty good relationship with them. Our friendship had grown cold in recent months, until one morning during the last Presidential campaign when he accused me of messing with a political sign on his garage door. He also made an obscene gesture at me and said things that were damaging. Even though none of what he accused me of was true, he was still angry enough at me that our friendship, even our basic ‘good neighborliness’ has been badly damaged. There has been no contact in about 2 years now.

I feel that I must be willing to forgive my neighbor from my heart, and be ready to do so when and if the opportunity arises. Henri Nouwen raised the bar pretty high in his book, The Only Necessary Thing, saying that heart forgiveness is not only very difficult but may be impossible. He also said that true forgiveness does not seek anything in return, does not expect things to turn out a certain way, and we must be willing to overlook those hurt feelings and not take them into account when trying to forgive.

Here is what I've been thinking lately, based on what Nouwen has said:

• Forgiveness is not easy, but it is a requirement for our own salvation.
• Forgiveness may not always be necessary but we must be sensitive enough to know the difference.
• We are VERY human and probably cannot forgive like we need to.
• God is totally divine and his forgiveness is complete and perfect; ours is not.
• We should let God take complete control of the whole issue, depending on his wisdom to help us do the right thing.
• We need to relax and trust God to help us in whatever way we need help.
• If we pray and say to God, “Lord, in my heart I forgive…”, then we have done what is required.
• However, continued forgiveness is also required.
• To 'forgive and forget' is not possible; in fact it is probably a lie. We probably won't ever forget.
• To act like it never happened is also not possible; not realistic.
• To allow an offensive action to stifle our lives is not being true to ourselves. We must be what we are.

If we have indeed committed the offensive action, we must take the first steps.

Jesus said that in order for us to be forgiven, we must forgive. Under what conditions, and how often? Apparently under all conditions and every time we are wronged. We must remember, however, that we just can't do it under our own strength. It seems that forgiveness is a divine thing, therefore we must forgive in the strength of Christ.

Thanks be to God.

Crossing Creeks and Other Slippery Places

Ever heard of Camp Dix, Kentucky? Probably not. Ever heard of Vanceburg, Kentucky? Maysville? The last two maybe, but I doubt if very many ever heard of Camp Dix. It is located in the hills of Lewis County, northeast of Louisville. It is a totally rural area and holds a world full of memories for me. The county is named for Meriwether Lewis of the Lewis and Clark expeditions.

My dad was born in Lewis County, specifically Camp Dix, and lived there until his mid twenties. He then went to the Cincinnati area, met mom, and as they say, the rest is history. We made many trips to Lewis County in August of each summer visiting my grandmother, a godly, soft spoken, gentle pioneer type who was known as Aunt Lucy to a world full of friends. Dad’s family would have grandma’s birthday and a reunion all in one day; lots of friends and family and TONS of food. Fishing, swimming, playing with cousins, exploring the rugged hills, visiting aunts and uncles; all these were part of our summers.

One place in particular was the Kinniconick (called Kinni by the locals), a creek that runs through Lewis County, just a short walk from where my dad was born and raised. Just down the dirt road a ways from where grandma’s house stood was the remains of the old one room school house dad attended. Just off to the left of that was a place where cars could cross the creek when it was not too high. I always thought that was really ‘cool’, if not a little scary. I mean, what if a giant wave came rushing up and got us? That never happened, of course. As it turned out, there were no giant waves in Kinni.

When the creek was shallow enough, you could actually wade across that same place. We would take that trek occasionally, mainly because of Aunt Lilly’s general store on the other side. Aunt Lilly was one of dad’s sisters, and she and her husband, Uncle Doug Hamilton owned the store. In the ‘dog days’ of August, it was great fun going over there, especially since Aunt Lilly would give us free stuff, including a cold soft drink (my favorite was grape soda) and other goodies.

Crossing the creek was a scary thing to a small kid…scary that is until my older sister Anita would take my hand and help me negotiate those slippery rocks. Sometimes she would let go of my hand and simply say, “Watch where you’re stepping. The rocks can be slippery.” I would stare down into the water and wonder how long it would be before anyone found me if I ever fell in, or wonder when a crawdad was going to pinch my toe (we usually went across barefoot so we wouldn’t mess up our shoes). I always felt secure, though, when Anita was close by and took my hand. I did not worry about the rocks or the water or crawdads, or the possibility of disaster. I only trusted that she would watch out for me; and she always did.

Life for all of us contains many crossings where the possibility of disaster is only one misstep away; one more bad decision; staying too long; dating the wrong person; telling yourself one final time, ‘it’s only temporary; it won’t hurt anyone’, or ‘no one will ever know’. We could all tell many tales of close calls, only to be rescued by the hand of God just in the nick of time. Those ‘crossing’ places are common enough in life. We can carefully cross over, with the next destination ahead of us, the next part of life; or we can be careless, slip, and ruin everything. We may not be able to see what lies ahead, but we do have One who goes with us who has been there before us. He became one of us and suffered temptation, unanswered prayer and all the bits and pieces of life just like we do.

He knows what lies ahead. He knows how to cross those places. He knows how to avoid falling. He takes our hand when necessary and will sometimes just say, “Watch where you’re stepping. The rocks can be slippery.” Then when the way gets too treacherous, he takes our hand and leads us to the other side.

The dark waters of life can lead to catastrophe or destruction unless we put our trust in Christ, our Older Brother, who knows what to do, and loves us enough to guide us through those slippery places.

Thanks be to God.